People, water has actually dropped from the sky (crazy, I know) off and on for the past two days and evenings. It is a bizarre and rather pleasant occurrence, as long as you ignore the fact that this moisture gets the highways damp and mixes with the oil and all the Californians can not fathom how to drive in such conditions. I have been celebrating this fall-reminiscent weather by curling up on a couch under a throw while cats purr on my lap. And I drank tea. This was very nice and autumnal, even. (Just a few weeks ago I was buying nothing but popsicles and salad makings and wondering if I could sleep outside on the foot-and-a-half wide walkway outside my door.) Of course, all that “weather” business is over now and we have returned to the typical California climate, which is mandated, I believe, in our constitution, to exactly resemble “room temperature” and Hollywood set lighting.
I wouldn’t mind having even more rain or continuing on with some cloudiness, just cause it makes a nice change, but on the other hand rainy cloudy mornings make me want to stay in bed, with or without the added incentive of cats napping on me (“Do my work? I can’t move! I might wake up the preciouses”). But really, if God were counting my work hours (oh please let this not be the case) s/he would notice that there was no appreciable dropoff in productivity with the rain, mainly because it’s hard to have it dip below a flat level of zero. What I’m trying to say here is that I haven’t really kicked it up since finishing my summer class, and I feel “meh” and uninspired and totally unmotivated to do anything, whether chapter, conference, or job market-related. Bleah.
You’d think all the impending deadlines would be whipping me into a frenzy, but it’s like I’m sleepwalking through no-man’s-land, shells exploding all around me, but I don’t notice or even hear. (WTF?? Have you been watching Saving Private Ryan and not telling me about it, self? Couldn’t you find a better analogy? Sheesh.) So, I periodically stare at my materials and go, eh, Advisor said she’d get back to me on them so I’ll wait. Then I stare at my chapter or paper and go, eh, this topic bores me. I’ve got it thought out but not written out, and that looks like the worst part of the work ---- none of the fun of discovery, all of the linking sentences and exposition left to do. Then I go read some blogs. And maybe have a snack. Or a nap. And then I try to just say screw it and go read something or watch a movie for pleasure, but I don’t even feel much like doing that. I dunno. You’d think it was sleep deprivation and a few good nights would bring back my energy levels, but it hasn’t. And this is just not the time to take a vacation and go visiting people, you know?
So… what to do? Any tips for magically getting my mojo back? Or getting oneself back into the self-motivated self-imposed deadline grind after a bout of teaching and procrastinating? Anybody want to write my chapter and/or conference paper for me? Hell, mopping the kitchen floor is on the list too if you’re not up for writing. I’m not up for anything. Maybe additional napping power is needed.
I sure hope this goes away before all my crap comes due. Which is starting frighteningly soon.