Flaming Cheese Productions

It's so weird to be on the job market and in school and then go look up on Sitemeter where my readers are coming from. Hey, I've been there! And there! Ooh, I went to school there! And there! (I've gotten hits from all the UCs except UCSF now; maybe I'll start keeping track of the CSUs, just for kicks. I have only visited half of the UCs and less than a quarter of the CSUs; part of me wants to do a road trip just to collect the complete set. I'm all about complete sets, people.)

Then you get the slightly paranoid feeling: ooh, I applied there, and there, and there, and last year I applied there and there. Are these future colleagues (or maybe future application rejectors) reading my blog? Should I censor myself or start talking about how hard I work instead of pie and how well I procrastinate?

There's also a strange reaction I have when someone from one of the "real schools" like Yale or Hahh-vad has been reading: wait, surely everyone there is too busy creating cold fusion or being fed peeled grapes from the hands of adoring undergraduates to actually do something as mundane as read an academic blog! Just the fact that I call them "real" in my head first thing says volumes about my assumptions about class and academe, assumptions which may or may not be completely fucked up. But those are my thoughts, so there it is.

Having been around a while, I also get a jolt of recognition whenever a school that one of my grad colleagues has gotten a job at pops up. Ooh, look --- someone I know works there! Chances are slim that this random visitor is even in the English department, but it makes me happy anyway.

Ever since I wrote that post asking for help on writing a teaching philosophy (a belated thanks to everyone for the advice, by the way), searches that bring people here have been boring, all consisting of "how to write a teaching philosophy statement for ________" Bleah!. But I have been keeping track of the search phrases that pleased me for a while now, including the title of this post. If ever I start a production company, I swear to you, that is what it shall be called.

And since there's not much going on in my life right now, I thought I'd share some of the most interesting search strings from my sitemeter:

• eating strange things

• stupidest question in the world

(I wonder what that would be, anyway? I know about the funniest joke in the world, but...)

• the rocks in my head

• is a B minus a bad grade

(answer: that depends. Thanks for joining us on Dr. Cog's Advice Hour!)

• “win a pre-paid cremation?”

• lust in leather

(Ooh, I think I didn't live up to what you were looking for, luv.)

• food poisoning puke

(why yes, that is what grad school can be like)

• in grad school behind on work can't motivate

(So you came here to hang out with me? Pass the chips and the remote.)

• hot patterns drainpipe pants

(niiiiice. Reminds me I need to have my 80s party still.)

• can you hand in a paper late in graduate school

(don't do it, man! the spring I took an incomplete created the wost summer I ever avoided writing a paper in.)

• is burning rubber smell sign of a brain tumour

(uh, wrong kind of doctor here. Good luck with that one, dude)

• sculptures made out of everyday objects – pictures

• should i feel stupid about failing phd field exams?

(stupider than having to google search about it? I kid, I kid.)

• rabbit stuck in couch

• Foucault corporate control

(from ralphlauren.com --- creepy!)

• "i love lucy" ignoring the signs of impending trouble

(from the State of Georgia board of regents web site… someone has to fill me in on this, including what it has to do with me…)