Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I am SO behind

it's not even funny. (whimper) Picture me trying not to hyperventilate here, with big sad puppy eyes and a trembly lower lip. Like the sad look Puss 'n Boots uses as his weapon in Shrek. Not that I actually look like that right now, but because I find it amusing to imagine me sounding like Antonio Banderas. Heh.

It is a sad thing when you say you feel absolutely disgusting and that is an upgrade in your condition. I'm hoping that I will be able to breathe lying down tonight because it's so hard to sleep when you've got 8 million pillows under your head. But then again it's hard to sleep while not breathing. So, in a word, current status: miserable. (A huge improvement from the weekend. Oh yeah, and no more fever.)

So I have a pile of papers yet to be graded, and now I have midterms as well, and I have section prep to do and the week's reading to catch up on ... hmm ... I should probably reverse the order of those when I actually get around to doing it. I did not turn in a draft of my chapter today like I planned, because I have not worked on it even in the slightest since Friday, but since I did not tell my advisor that she would be getting a chapter draft today, she is blissfully ignorant of the fact that I missed this deadline. Grumble grumble. I went through my list of VAP and spring job ads that I'd pulled and crossed off a whole bunch ---- because their deadlines are far in the past, sigh ---- and there are still a bunch due this week, so this morning I ran around hastily compiling some applications and sent some off. More await. And I haven't gone back through the various job lists in a little while, so I bet I could find even more. Gack. I wish I knew what I was doing for food and rent next year already, because then I could be spending all that time finishing the dissertation and getting stuff off my plate. Oh yeah, and my abstract was accepted for a conference, but that means now I'll have to write the paper for it at some point. More helpings on the plate instead of finishing anything off. Intellectually I know that branching out a bit from my dissertation is a good thing, especially because I'm trying to convince people that my wide-range of teaching subjects actually relates to my position as a scholar, but I feel like I don't have the time right now. Well, I probably never will have "enough" time if it comes down to that, so I should just suck it up. When I'm well, I have the energy to do that. Right now, I have to stare at the empty breakfast bowl, going, "damn, it is a long way to the sink. Maybe I should rest a bit before carrying it over there."

Oh yeah, and a lot of the other departments I have worked for are calling for TAs and lecturers right now for next year, so I need to get on that and figure out how to apply for those positions too, if I want to scrounge together enough classes to just stay here next year. I'm a big wuss when it comes to travel and striking out into new situations, so that sounds easier and more comfortable than taking a pissant VAP or adjuncting somewhere across the country, but when I compared the per-course pay rate to my rent (I'm in an expensive part of an expensive state, yo), getting the hell out of dodge seems more attractive. (ooh, have I missed the call for the local CC already? Gotta check that out too.)

Sigh. No rest for the wicked, that's for sure. No, wait ---- I'm going to get a snack and then take a nap before dealing with lecture and section. Just try and stop me.


heu mihi said...

I like that phrase, "pissant VAP." I know that it's a compound of "piss" and "ant," but it also reads like a heraldic term. You know, instead of "lion rampant" or "dragon passant," you get a "VAP pissant."

But I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad. That's rotten. I've concluded that winter is just a bad time in the academic world, even if you live in a warmer clime.

Belle said...

Well, actually, this post made me feel better. My current bout of Crazy's Evil Pestilence is nearly past. However, dear Sis, I am sending it back to you since I specifically asked you to keep it away from me.

No, of course I haven't gotten my grading, writing or class prep done! I've been battling the Evil Pestilence!

BTW, get well soon.

kermitthefrog said...

hope you feel better soon!