It's so hot. I don't wanna work anymore. I blew off my exercise class this afternoon. I ate free pastries all morning and may skip dinner in lieu of ice cream again tonight. It would be a lovely day to go to the beach or even outside, if I had the energy. It would also be a good idea to get my work done, but my brain has melted. And then the hot weather turned the melty brain stuff into sticky, possibly toxic, goo.
I also recently realized why I've been having trouble: all of my projects are at the same state of intensive writing, so I don' t have anything on the list to switch over to when my brain hits the melting point halfway through the day: I've pulled the books and made my copies, and I'm not to the point yet where I could proof things and make bibliographies ---- everything's at the "pull it together into a cohesive argument" point. Which is no fun. Especially when it is hot.
So instead of working more on them, I will describe my projects using pictures.
Project #1: The Sadly Neglected Final Chapter
Ooh, the poor widdle thing! How long has it been since I played with it, I wonder? I really need to get back and work on it before it makes my heart break from cuteness. Of course, that's only appearances ---- in reality, when I turn back to it, it will growl at me and bite and possibly take an arm off because it feels bitter about being so mistreated. That will suck, because those rabies shots hurt and then you'll see me around town, one-armed, tacking up "Have You Seen My Chapter?" posters while holding back tears. Tragic.
Project #2: The Light at the End of the Tunnel Project
Thank god this one will be over soon! I have too much on my plate right now. But that's the nice thing about impending deadlines of this sort ---- you can't put off, or fake, a conference paper. After slogging away in the dark avoiding this one for so long, it's so nice to see some daylight at last. Why do I have this nagging feeling that I forgot to do something though? And what's that sound?
Project #3: As Soon as I Know What I'm Doing, I'll Do It
I got an invitation to revise and resubmit an article. At least, I think I did. I still haven't ever actually seen the invitation, or the readers' reports. But they were supposed to be sent out to me a while ago. Maybe I just can't find them ---- can you see the readers' reports in the Magic Hidden Pictures? Just find Waldo, the managing editor, in the picture below and he will give you the readers' reports, and possibly a pot of gold.
Project #4: It Just Needs a Bit More Work Before Sending Out Again
Trust me, what with the way everyone is running out of room around here ---- they're not making any more land, you know! ---- this little diamond in the rough will be a big hit in the near future. Sure, it's a fixer-upper; it needs some work before it gets sent out again. But really, how much time will a lick of paint and a little elbow grease take, anyway? Why, this little baby hardly counts as a project ---- I mean, I could whip this up on the one hand while writing my dissertation with the other! And then, with the mystic arms of Shiva, I will also cook dinner, fold laundry, and write The Great American Novel.
Project #5: Whatever Happened to...
Gosh, remember that thing from way back? You know, wasn't it a chapter, or a paper, or something? Yeah, way back in the day I had that cute little chapter 4 draft and I turned it in to my advisor to get some feedback about finishing it off. Ah, those were the days! The carefree youth, our crazy hair, those outfits... ah, memories! How those little chapters do grow up. Or do they? Anybody seen that chapter lately? It was so cute and fresh-faced, so precocious beyond its years. Somebody told me they had seen it giving lap dances down at the Whiskey on Sunset. I hope not; I don't want to remember it like that.
Project #6: The Hail Mary Dissertation-Formatting-and-Filing Pass
What? It wouldn't be a Hail Mary Pass if it wasn't made at the very last minute in sheer desperation, would it?