I am in a rut. I have not managed to get a single piece of work-related stuff done today, nor have I done anything fun and interesting. Part of this might be because I went to yoga yesterday instead of a pilates class, and today I am stiff and achy in all sorts of weird places. (But I thought I usually worked that muscle over there! Why can I not lift my arm above my head?) And tired. Clearly I need to cross-train, or at least get into less of an exercise rut.
But also, I was sitting around on my couch all day, clicking around on the internet, doing nothing, and I saw the j jill catalog on my coffee table --- the one with the picture of someone running around with golden retrievers on the beach, and I said to myself, hey! I should go out into this beautiful day and drive to the beach or spend it reading at the park or something. But I did not. Partly because I haven't figured out a way yet of getting my couch downstairs and all the way down onto the sandspit so I could be really comfortable at the beach, and partly because of the insidious way I kept telling myself, ooh, but in a minute now I will begin working!
And thus I spent yet another day neither getting shit done nor really enjoying myself or the nice weather.
I haven't done this all that recently, though, so perhaps I am beating myself up over nothing. I have worked all week, but not, of course, done as much as I'd like. Ideally I would have finished all my apps this week and moved back to doing my research work next week. But I think I could finish everything by the end of next week instead.
I will just reiterate, one more time for the record, how much I hate postdoc applications. I have a batch that are really glorified adjunct writing jobs in disguise --- and I am not knocking them in any way by saying this! I would love to get one of these postdocs! --- but I realized these apps basically need yet another iteration of a cover letter, one that explains my pedagogy as a comp/rhet teacher and that side of my teaching experience. I've just had a couple encounters with people that reminded me how much I love teaching, even specifically teaching writing, but it is just not something I have any desire to write a cover letter about. Perhaps this partly explains my sloth today.
Oh, and this week sucked. No wait, mostly it was just Wednesday. And I was all set to bitch and moan on the blog about all the stupid crap from Wednesday when I took that yoga class Thursday morning, and at one point in the middle of it, with my legs on fire from having been in the warrior poses, just starting to sweat a lot, while being told all sorts of things about twists and muscle memory and how psychic energy shoots out of your fingers in this one pose, and the instructor was saying something about how grateful we should be that we have the time and physical ability to come do something like this, when suddenly I thought popped into my head so strangely it sounded like another's voice: I am happy
So at some point I will tell you all about the upsetting events and developments of Wednesday but right now I am trying to hold onto that strange voice and this involves not thinking or talking about Wednesday at all. I just hope this doesn't also require that I do no work whatsoever, because I can't really keep that up. ;-)
Still bored though. And now I kinda want chips and salsa. Maybe I should scavenge up some spare change and head out?