Monday, November 22, 2010

Down the procrastination hole

Man, I so don't want to grade this new batch of essays. I "aged" them all weekend, not even looking at them. Perhaps this made them more tender instead of tough and stringy? I am doubtful.

And it's not like I was off this weekend, relaxing. I worked very hard all weekend and got the last paper prompts and handouts and class prep stuff done. It took the whole time. And yet, I have shitloads of essays that I haven't even touched. Essays which I am afraid to look at as I worry my students had a mental relapse and went back into "I will write about the entire history of technology in four pages without thinking that is too broad" mode. The prompt was to consider how recent technological advances (and I suggested stuff like smartphones, facebook, google, etc.) have transformed society. I haven't read it yet, but I know from talking to a student that she thought the internet was too small a topic (!!!) and so she went back and started with electricity and cars. Oy! Do we have any readings that discuss the impact of electricity on contemporary society? No! Will they all be like this? I only have beer in the house. That sort of craptacularity requires hard liquor.

I was planning on grading more essays today to hit the Monday Quota (I lied, I have whizzed through 2 essays but that is not enough), but I took an afternoon nap and then felt more crappy when I woke up than when I went down. I think part of me believes that, because I will soon be getting on a plane to visit my family, I will be able to magically grade all the essays through the time machine magic involved in time zones. Yeah, that probably won't work. But it should! I mean, I'm going to be locked in a plane for, like, days and it will be about the same time when I get off the plane as when I go in, right? Plus grading is always a little easier when you are trapped somewhere without distractions, like, say, the internet. Not "magically grade three entire sections of essays easier," however, which is why I need to get off my ass and actually vanquish an essay or 2. Or, actually, 8. Mmm, I don't think even 2 is going to happen tonight.

In other news, my cats are looking at me. They are cute. I hope they do not suffer in my absence --- I have a cat-sitter feeding them but have no clue if they will hide the whole time she is here and never come out to eat while she is gone. See? I always plan long visits with the family because I miss them but then spend those long visits worrying about the cats and missing them. Even though they are little buggers who do nothing but torment me. Oh wait, that could describe my family as well. Ah, the mysteries of life explained!

In other other news, I am working up a big post, but need the exact perfect pics for it and am having trouble and it is taking time. I'll keep at it in little bits, but probably you won't get to see it until after Thanksgiving, since I'm not taking the laptop. My essays will weigh enough, thank you. And I'm not at all worried about anything happening to them during airport security screening. Hmm, maybe I will get lucky and have my essay stack confiscated or blown up or irradiated by the TSA. Oh frabjous day, what a miracle that would be!


Psycgirl said...

I love the idea of "aging" my grading!

Dr. Koshary said...

Silly Sisyphus, you can't tenderize craptastic student essays with aging. Marination, my dear, marination is the key. I find that essay papers respond well to a classic Tex-Mex fajita marinade:

Lots of tequila
Generous lacing of lime juice
A little dose of chili flakes

By the time you finish taking "taste tests" of the marinade, you'll be ready to hit those mofos hard.

Have fun with the family!

Bardiac said...

I love the idea of aging essays, but I think Dr. Koshary might have an even better idea!

Lucky Jane said...

Age the grading! Marinate the grader! Into the time machine (i.e., plane to the other coast) it all goes!

Sounds like a plan!

Seriously, that sucks. But it will get done. (And don't be like me, accepting senior paper drafts the Wednesday before T-Day.)

P said...

...Callooh Callay!

Eggnog with rum? brandy? kahlua? Depending on how may students you have, you could take one big sip at the end of every paper?

But, no matter what: eggnog, spiked.