Uggggggggggghh. I don't wanna send out goddamn job applications! I don't wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!
Also: re-tooling these apps from last year is a pain. As is tailoring them in a bunch of weird directions.
I have quite a few things with rolling deadlines (ie send it in immediately) and a few more that are due by the end of the month, but I just haven't been able to buckle down and do them. I have started working up one letter for a weird thing, but haven't completed it yet. And I mostly updated my CVs but need to go find my list of activities for tenure and make sure everything I did gets properly highlighted in my service. And I need to pester people about letters. It's all very annoying and draining. This is why I haven't been working on them ---- I go out and do annoying social things with family members first thing in the morning and then don't have the energy or ability to do anything unpleasant in the afternoon. So today I did a bit of letter-revamping and now am in my post-lunch slump, but because the deadlines are right now, I need to go back in and do more hard work. I think I have already done all the easy nonthinking bits.
And once I have these all worked up and sent along I get to create a couple new classes practically from scratch! My break is no fun this year.
That reminds me: visiting with all the family this year was really hard. It's tough not telling them things (see my last post). I kept noncommittal for the most part but my uncle proceeded to ask me and my cousins about our new year's resolutions or plans. Totally normal and fun, right? But it was very awkward talking about possibly traveling over the summer or whether I should buy a car and how the housing market looks over in my town (my cuz especially likes hearing about this and trading house renovation stories) without telling them I wasn't going to be sticking around. I'm not technically lying to them, but...
It is also hard to hear stories about how my nephew has crashed and burned and been asked to leave his state school (and honestly, is not doing too hot at the local community college this semester, either) when I'd like to give him advice as well as a strong tongue-lashing (him and his parents need to hear the what-for, since their worst habits are strongly enabling his unproductive behavior), but I don't feel like I can hold myself up as any sort of model behavior or success, considering. And who knows: maybe I am terrible at this and my standards/expectations are all off and therefore any advice I would give him is bad! Anyway, one of the things I have learned at this school is that giving advice and warnings only makes students mad instead of making them heedful, so it is probably for the best that I sit on my hands and clamp my mouth shut over my tongue in the case of my nephew.
If only I didn't have to send out all these damn applications. Then I could be complaining about my course planning instead...