Sigh.

I haven't got anything to report but complaining. So what will I do? I will complain!

First of all, I hate informational interviews. They are just as nerve-wracking as actual interviews (side note: I am not a good phone interviewer!) but without an actual job on the line. No, indeed, they are like pre-interviews for the interview, in this bizarre recursive process where every step you take requires more preparation than the last and only moves you backward in the hiring progress.

I had a spate of requests for informational interviews get ignored, so then I sent out a huge number across a couple departments at a university, and then all of those requests got responded to and I had the stress and running about and preparation for a whole bunch all in a day. And I had lots of student grading to deal with, too, so I am not a wise planner. Plus, I feel like I am getting a smaller amount of useful tips with each interview --- which, if the point was really to learn about the field and how to get a job, would be progress, but really, these are all about meeting enough people and networking and hoping they will get you past the barriers somehow to actually get considered for a job.  I don't think that this is working for me. Meh. I hate schmoozery.

Also, I had one application "move further forward in the process" and request more stuff, but then promptly get rejected. Sigh. I would expect them to promote up through the ranks anyway. But this was the closest to any sort of interest in my job apps I have gotten, and is also the one most closely matching my prior academic interests. I don't know how anybody does an actual career and field transition --- they must have to know somebody personally and get a pity hire because nobody seems to be looking at resumes that show a trajectory up through a different field. There's "sure, I could do that" and there's, "the best, closest match of resumes in this pile to the job description." Sigh.

I would have thought I could have gotten some better responses to the job apps by now. I am feeling like a failure and that it is futile to even try. It's been 10 months since I knew I would be nonrenewed and, what, 4-5 months I have been unemployed and looking? In the middle of historically low unemployment and job growth around here? I'm sick of it.

Breaking the chain

Goodnight!

A little post before I fall asleep.

A normal person would take someone's writing log/system and actually use it for writing. I used it for planking.

Not the weird internet meme that was going on a while back, but literally doing planks and push-ups. My knee still doesn't feel "normal" --- as in, not reminding me it is there, like most of my other body parts --- and I was trying to increase my every-other-day walks. But if all I am doing is walking, then all my other muscles will melt and dislodge and fall off my body. Or something. Yoga would of course cover the whole body, but it pushes and stretches the knees and my knee still constantly reminds me that I should be careful of it and I should baby it. So I pulled out a link I saved long ago for a plank challenge to work your core.

You find your max time you hold it in good form and then keep it up for a month without breaking your chain. At my start I could only do about 30 seconds and was doing push-ups on my knees. And I  know that is way out of shape but the point is to improve. So I was increasing it a couple seconds every day and tracking my walks at about 4 miles every few days and really liking the accumulation of days in my tracker.

Then the first essays hit.

I hate that 2 classes can swamp me under just as much as 4 but there it is. More worrisome is that I have broken my chain of applying out to jobs and need to get back into things. I managed to wrangle another informational interview but the emotional build-up and then release of it all also contributed to my lackluster progress.

I will get another set of essays pretty soon so this weekend is all about figuring out what we're doing in essay 3. And I need to plan more in this new job siege strategy of interviews.

And, hopefully, fit in the time for another walk.

I dunno about the planking, though. Once you break a chain of that type it's like extra tough to motivate yourself to actually get back into it. Like the extra momentum from before has become extra resistance.

Little Frustrations

How long have I been at my sister's house now? It is starting to wear on me. It is really difficult to grade here, especially when she is at home in the evenings because the place is so small and she blasts the tv on horrible shows. And just having two classes is the same as four --- the grading expands to fill all available time. I haven't been sending out job apps since getting the big pile of midterms and papers and that should have me worried.

And furthermore, after having the two volunteer places both scheduling me on the same days and almost same times for several times in a row, there is now radio silence! I can't tell if that is because of their work loads or because I actually come off as something horrible and they don't want to work with me. (It all sounds believable if you have been fired for unlikeability.) Hrmf.

I need to grade this big stack o crap and do some cleaning and get back to thinking about a job strategy. And kick my sister out of the house ---- I thought her falling asleep to The Great Halloween Bake Off thing was bad enough, but hearing Robertson and all these other old fogeys talk over each other on PBS has got to be worse!

I haven't even told you about her singing, which I have always charitably ignored rather than telling her I loathe choirs and vocal music. But she has now joined a music group which is shaping up to be Bad News in terms of the money outlay and the practicing and the stress, and also she is constantly singing and practicing and bubbling and making weird noises. Meh.