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I don't want you to get the impression that I spent two days of sloth and dissipation here; in fact I had quite a lot of energy today. It went away though and I'm taking a little break before I figure out what I have left that I can force myself to do.

Today's to do list:

cleaned the catbox
took out the garbage
cleaned up the kitchen esp floor
did dishes
put away chewed cat piles in living room
laundry
made job app to-do list (I made a lot of progress on this too, but obviously you don't get to see it)
clean up fridge and make meal plan
need groceries?


Hmm, that seemed more impressive at the time. Maybe I should list the three loads of laundry each on their own line. Except that they didn't really take long per se. And yes, I cleaned up everything except the dishes --- cleaned around them in fact! So? It's my apartment! And if I had tried to force myself to wash them I probably would have done nothing today. I tell you, the only good thing about doing dishes is after scrubbing about three things I have the sudden desire to actually finish another job app. I've been trying to play my competing work loathings off each other, with some success; I have a lot of job stuff finished and even more that is all ready to take to school and pilfer some letterhead and envelopes.

I probably don't have a chance in hell for these jobs as they are actually comp jobs that ask for an English rather than a comp/rhet degree, but, whaddaya gonna do? I'm sending off everything I can in the hopes that my cumulative effort somehow appeases the job gods and they bestow some sort of work upon me.

And my life became immeasurably better when I let a couple postdoc deadlines just pass by. Being miserable for four or five hours at a time without actually producing anything usable for the app is just pointless. Whereas when I put in that much time on my book project I was both happy and getting a lot done. Sure, I wouldn't mind living in Chicago for a while, but you know what? University of Chicago writing postdoc, you can just suck it! You and Stanford's glorified TA program can both kiss my ass! I don't need to write a fucking essay right now about how I would teach your list of texts from the Metamorphosis to A Room of One's Own in a way calculated to stand out from the other 900 applicants you're gonna get. PS you misspelled "Woolf" on your website, you douches.

Ahhhhhhh. You wouldn't believe how much better I feel now that I've written that out! I think I could actually face writing a paragraph about how I use technology in my student-centered classroom now. At least it's for a fucking permanent job.