Bleah

Well, today sucked. Ok, no it didn't, but I didn't actually get any work done today. Bleah. I'm not to the point where I'm freaking out about waiting for MLA news, but I'm definitely at the waiting stage. If I actually had nervous energy maybe I could channel it into a cleaning frenzy. But no.

Totally random non sequitur: I bought some cute little catnip-filled mice right before I left over thanksgiving, and the cats loved them. I felt kinda bad that they are either so sick of their destroyed old toys, or that the catnip in them has totally lost its potency, that they got sooo happy over the idea of something new and interesting in the place. Poor cats. Especially when you consider that they only pester me to come play when I am actually working and I swat them away, so yes, they are bored.

But anyway, when I got back here --- no sign of the mice anywhere. Huh. Did they eat them? They don't appear to be under any of my furniture. They ... escaped? Dunno. I hope to soon really scrub down the apartment (see above) and maybe I will find them then. But it is quite the mystery.

In other news, it's quite dull and boring here --- I was chipping away at my book proposal and need to get back to my revisions too, unless of course I get no job interviews and move into backup plan mode and so then what should I do about the book? Hmm. I've been avoiding thinking about that. Do I want this published no matter what? I wanted to finish the dissertation no matter what, that was crystal clear. This, less so. I think it's good. But it is a scholarly work, not something with massive crossover appeal or the potential to save the world or anything.

And I have work next quarter (note to self: need to actually prep the class over break!) but it comes at the absolute worst time, since it overlaps with both the fall and winter local community college semesters and I didn't feel like I could squeeze in both, or something. Ok, technically I sent resumes around to every community college within about 60 miles asking for fall adjunct work and no one even replied. But I haven't tried them for spring yet and I think it's too late at this point. Perhaps summer? I've been working towards getting the grad students who are adjuncting there already to introduce me to to permanent people, and I'm hoping that I can work my connections.

Unfortunately, both my school and the local ccs have a rule that adjuncts teach the mwf classes and only full-timers get to teach the t/th. Stupid winter class messing up my schedule!!!! If only I was offered it for fall or spring. Or, you know, I was offered a full slate of classes. Or even none at all, so that I would have moved up into my parents' house long long ago and not still be here. That's almost too horrifying to contemplate, but, on the other hand, it sure would be a powerful motivator. I assure you I would have a full-time job doing something within a month to get out of there, if only in retail or secretarial. Or welding. Or something. Heh. Yeah, I can see me welding, Flashdance -style. Right.

And, to go back to what I should be doing, I could be prepping interview/job talk stuff, except part of me believes that I won't get anything this time around either so why bother, and anyway, if I do get a call next week there is still plenty of time to run amok frantically preparing that stuff. See? I am suspended in this glue of waiting, unable to really do anything. That's why I baked brownies and tried knitting things today. It's not like I needed a break right after thanksgiving, or needed a break from my usual work of sitting around eating a lot and doing a little writing, but there you have it. I'm at a crossroads; I have a million different things to do, but what those million things are depends entirely on something happening that I have no control over and can make no predictions about. I'm surprised I didn't spend the day hiding under the bed. No, the new cat toys aren't there. I checked.