Thursday, January 14, 2010


Arhrrrrrgh! Arooooogargh! I don't wanna do anything! I don't feel like doing work! Wah! I definitely don't feel like prepping class or doing the reading or anything work related at all today! Bleah!

I just may find out just how badly I can half-ass my class prep and still carry it off tomorrow. I'm just grumpy. I need a juice box and a nap.

And my earlier comment that our students seem so hyper-prepared and proessionalized when it comes to crashing classes? Never mind. The clueless slackers have come out of the woodwork. I'm getting tons of emails from people who have never yet spoken to me or tried to show up for any of our many class sessions lo these past two weeks, telling me sob stories about how they are graduating seniors with zero units. Now, may be true that the budget crap is so bad that they have been trying to crash courses all this time with no luck, but that is not the effect I'm feeling, what with the misspellings of my name and "yo dude" text style type emails and people sending generic spam email to about 20 different instructors with the salutation "Hello," and then talking about how badly they need my class to graduate and love the topic and have always wanted to know about this fascinating topic and then they leave the recipient list available so I can read it.

So we still have our usual students as well as the on-top-of-things, hyperprofessionalized, hypercompetitive students. But I tell ya, the clueless slackers are not going to remain students for very long around here! We are a big Darwinian fish tank around here and there's chum in the water, kiddies. You're just not going to graduate. I hope all you unenrolled students remember to unleash your snowflakey attitudes and helicopter parents on the legislature once you realize you can't get in the classes. Or remember to tell your parents, at least, that you didn't make it into any classes before you go get drunk and head for the beach.

Anywhoo, I may try eating something a little later (maybe I am fighting something off?) and just go to bed early. Surely I will feel like reading and prepping in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow, right?

Either that, or it'll look like a session of Comedy Sports. "For this next skit I'll ask the audience for suggested topics a college instructor might teach, a kind of vegetable, and the name of an obscure Societ bureaucrat... Go!"


Horace said...

Ooh, Medieval nosepicking, rutabaga, Nikolai Putviski.

Horace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Koshary said...

No, no, wait: Remedial Business English, daikon, Sergei Yefimovich Zhdanov!

I would just like to point out that "We are a big Darwinian fish tank around here and there's chum in the water, kiddies," is certainly the best thing I have read on a blog all week. I try to avoid thinking like this at the start of the semester -- we don't have UC's headaches with registration -- but lord knows the sensation creeps up on even the gentlest prof once the slackers start to show their true colors.

Bardiac said...

I agree with the poster above about the Darwinian fishtank with chum in the water. That there should be shouted from the rooftops of colleges and universities around the country with funding problems.