Thursday, January 6, 2011

My town, my street

I don't get why the people at MLA are so down on LA! I don't understand! Aren't all your local shopping centers lit up like this?

Why are you commenting about the 37 spotlights and the eleventy-two moving video screens? What, they remind you of, what's that, Bladerunner? Well, wasn't that set in Los Angeles? And isn't that future time supposed to be now?

Wha --- fake? You're saying the people in Los Angeles look impossibly done over and fake? What are you saying, that people in your town don't all get spray-on bronzer and Botox and long hair extensions? Don't all the women in your city look like this?

Whaddaya mean we dress funny here? Why would we wear silly things like "winter clothes" when we have no weather? Are you saying your students don't all wear this to class? Hmm, I guess even us locals don't all afford the $900 Gucci sunglasses, but you can get some great knockoffs from China down in the fashion district for way less! A giant what? Bug? Don't all sunglasses cover two thirds of your face?

I just don't understand what complaints you have. What could possibly be more normal than the Bonaventure? What's that --- Jameson? Well, I would totally have another Jameson but I've passed my 200 calorie allotment for the day --- I've got to watch my figure; my salary won't cover a full round under the knife.

Dude, what's your praaaa-blem? Chill, bra! Have a little music for inspiration and the title of my post:


Spanish prof said...

Thank God I didn't need to go to the MLA. However, I've been spending my Christmas break in LA for the past 5 years (where my in-laws live), and I've discovered to my great surprise that I love the town. Yes, it's fake, and everything looks the same. But behind those facades, there are wonderful gems to be discovered. I'm still doing new things year after year. And nothing is better than hiking on Griffith Park on a clear day.

Susan said...

The only problem with the Bonaventure is that for those of us afraid of heights, the elevators are a bit freaky. However, I just stand in the front half of the elevator and stare at the door, while my colleagues look out the window!

Dr. Koshary said...

I can actually hear the SoCal accent in your prose, Sisyphus!

...And it makes me feel like striking something.


undine said...

No complaints here. Palm trees! I still think palm trees are an artifact of an ancient alien civilization.