Wednesday, May 4, 2011

When Your Get Up and Go Gets Up and Leaves

Blarhgh. I think I will need to schedule some sort of morning class or meeting or workout. I have been having such trouble making myself get up in the morning, now that classes are over. It doesn't help when the one thing on the to do list is to grade massive amounts of assignments. And more are coming in tomorrow! Sigh.

So far I have had breakfast and coffee. I was supposed to do yoga this morning and felt absolutely not like moving. Even getting out of bed was hard. I don't particularly remember sleeping badly, and I went to bed at a reasonable time, and yet, just like the other non-teaching mornings lately, I got up super late. Clearly I do not have the motivation or willpower to get myself up and going in an unscheduled environment. I had this same problem with my dissertation fellowship year, I think I mentioned before. I guess this means I will need to put money toward a morning exercise class, even though I don't really have room for it in the budget. (I did this back in GradSchoolLand once I signed on for that swanky spin/pilates studio. A class with a set meeting time and money that will go to waste if I don't make it there on time does wonders for getting me out of bed in a way that a free class or dvd doesn't. Great ---- one more thing to plan.)

Mm. Still don't feel like moving. Or thinking. Or dealing with papers. Sigh. More coffee? Maybe I should start those shots of "vitamins" they were always injecting into the Hollywood stars who needed to be bright and bouncy on the set. I don't think I could pull off a good Judy Garland-style crazy, though. And I don't have the wardrobe for some Bette Davis histrionics.

And I have a horrible, terrible admission to make. You know my office? The one I share with two other postdocs and have left completely undecorated because I'll just be moving out soon anyway? The one that has no window or ventilation and is far too overstuffed with three sets of office furniture? (I do love that it has a locking door and the walls go all the way up to the ceiling, though.) Well, I do not like being in there, what with it being all cramped and dark and stuffy. And yet, yesterday afternoon I managed to put in an entire afternoon of grading. Ok, a lot of it was paper shuffling and organizing so that I could total up people's grades, but it still is unusual for me to work that long without taking a nap, after grading at a coffeeshop all morning. Sigh. I may have to go in to the cellblock and work regularly there this summer. I'll need to get a more comfy chair and have the IT people fix the non-working speakers on the computer so I can have some tunes going, but if I have trained myself to associate that space with working and this space at home with napping with the cats, I will just have to go with it.

In other news, my school parking pass works all summer too! This means that I can come on campus as often as I need (see above paragraph about working in the cellblock. Sigh.) I still have to plan my summer, both in terms of what I need to get done and a daily schedule. Why does that seem so overwhelming today? And why have I gone from mid/late morning being my most high-energy and clear-headed time of the day, to this? Bleah.

Maybe I should take a day and take out the recycling, do my laundry, and clean the place instead of grade. Usually I am at my most high-energy and full of caffeinated bounciness by now, and working it off with some errands and housecleaning is great. Not today though. Maybe I should go back to bed? Mm. Dunno. Wish I could figure out what is going on.


Anonymous said...

Just do it! Like now.

If I have to suffer being productive, everyone else should have to too. Pick something and do it. Don't spend too much time thinking about which.

And tonight, before you go to bed, make a to-do list in the order of what you think you should do. Then tomorrow morning when you're feeling indecisive and groggy you can get started on whatever is #1 on that list.

Sisyphus said...

Pthththt! I had a to do list --- it said, yoga, hairdye, grade final essays. I rolled over and looked at it and went, "gluuuuugh. I feel crappy." and rolled back over to hide in the pillows.

What I need is some magic trick to get me to _move_ when I am up in the morning. I have the lists. I just don't have the willpower.

PS my word verification is "churro." Awesome!

Anonymous said...

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