Spa Day (or semester) for a chapter!

I'm participating in Dame Eleanor Hull's writing group as a way to continue to make forward progress on my book manuscript, however slow and pitiful. I have hope, although, being a master procrastinator, I have already started re-reading chapter 3 instead of finishing up those final bits of chapter 1. This might come back and bite me in the butt, though I am telling myself that having enthusiasm and willingness to do any revision is so important I have to work with whatever I can.

This chapter has an argument. (Which is good, and better than I can say for chapter 1.) In fact, it has an argument, plus, an only-partially explicit sub-argument, or implications of the main argument, which may in fact be more interesting than the argument itself. So I want to flesh out those ideas and bring them out in relief more. The down side is that it has lumpy, awkward, long, drunkenly-careening sentences everywhere. I mean at every level of every page. I re-read my marginal comments from the last time I re-read the entire diss at one go (you can find it in my archives --- I think it was 2009?) and they are pointing out "long" "wordy" "what?" "awk" everywhere. I think I can keep the structure, but every single sentence needs polishing up and beautifying. Dame Eleanor Hull referred to it as a Spa Day and wondered if I was getting a manicure or a facial? Ha! I love it! Particularly because it is thematically relevant. Poor chapter. You can't beautify the pharmakon. Poor thing.

I was thinking that the chapter needs that facial thingy where they do dermabrasion, except, really, we're talking about sandblasting, if not an actual face-lift. But what's that? I was humming something... fa la la...

Yup, that is exactly the makeover I was looking for! Too bad I can't find the whole song/scene for you on the internet. Have a different clip instead:




And now I'm off to see what Voltron, Defender of the Universe will look like with long sausage curls...