Tuesday, February 26, 2008

OMG it’s like they KNOW me

A while back Scott went crazy. This is to be expected; he's dissertating. But he documented it all over at Acephalous in this post. Perhaps he was looking for a machine that would pad out his dissertation. But then became disoriented when instead of writing the dissertation for him, it produced a meta-narrative of the vast and epic agon between Scott and dissertation, a sort of postmodern version of Moby Dick, except possibly without whales. (On the other hand, there was that chapter about the whales and dolphins being books, so who knows?)

But then I went and tried that site out and was horrified! Every word is true. And not just because we are trained to overanalyze and look everywhere for hidden messages and secret lucky signs as literary scholars, or traumatized and made paranoid by the job market process. See for yourself:

Does Sisyphus discover job market? Sisyphus objects to the horrible leisure past the southern basket. The mandate mutters across a duplicate! When will Sisyphus twist? Sisyphus rests.

Sisyphus raves in job market. Sisyphus roots for job market. Sisyphus copes opposite an untidy rescue. Sisyphus notices job market. The mighty puzzle succeeds throughout the wedded jargon. The pride cruises with job market. Sisyphus rockets an individual above the bat. Job market joins with Sisyphus opposite the mnemonic culprit. Job market guides its swamped banana. The enough cruise addicts job market across the surplus.

Sisyphus wrongs job market throughout a suicidal ingredient. A window hastens Sisyphus around an absent supporter. An organ pales outside the simplistic glue. Sisyphus paces job market. A transported swamp strays before the skeptical thoroughfare. Job market pushes Sisyphus around the involved corridor. The tea wipes job market. Near the relative coasts job market. Why won't the unconscious riot past Sisyphus?

Sisyphus reasons below the crunched undergraduate. The gold exists before the shy master. A funnier art tasks job market. How will job market disappear? When can job market trip on top of Sisyphus? The plain questionnaire conveys a classic in an easier toad. The promise lathers a petty hassle. Sisyphus spits the fuse.

Sisyphus differentiates the clash. The screaming horde rules underneath job market. The huge manner exhausts job market beside the trash. A stress expires inside the crossroad. Job market spins throughout Sisyphus. The hook reports job market. The platform shouts Sisyphus inside the alliance. The fork explains job market with the instinct. Job market farces a gross change over a spike.

Sisyphus colors our invisible analogue.


Sisyphus said...

See what I mean!?!?!?!

I'm going to throw away my magic 8 ball and consult exclusively this for signs and portents.

Dr. Virago said...

I love this:

Sisyphus notices job market. The mighty puzzle succeeds throughout the wedded jargon. The pride cruises with job market.

I mean, really, couldn't that be a statement about the MLA and its members in general?

Dr. Brainiac said...

Wow - I typed in clowns and crack cocaine and the oracle spewed forth this:

How can the tailored propaganda post the trap? The patient spites the simulated baby. Clowns cures a leg. A typical brain peers inside the spring milk. Whatever cream ass leaks inside the practicable march. Clowns bounces over crack cocaine.

Chilling, really.

Good luck in your job search. I feel your pain.

kermitthefrog said...

"Spits the fuse" should come into more general circulation. The correct usage probably being "I'm so mad I'm gonna spit a fuse."

D said...

Job market washes. Job market springs Suge Knight into a checked symptom. An alcoholic vends Suge Knight next to a disastrous economics. On top of the revenge camps the taught particle.

The one that really gets me is "Job market joins with Sisyphus opposite the mnemonic culprit." At first, it seems like great news -- Job market joins with Sisyphus! But then... who is this mnemonic culprit? Does it mean that there is going to be some even greater foe? A villain so immense, so powerful, that Sisyphus and the Job Market, like America and Russia, will have to join forces against this new beast? Will it be memory itself? Will it have a mustache? Will it be Johnny Mnemonic?

D said...

OH NO I JUST REALIZED if it's Johnny Mnemonic, you're the villain!!!! This is terrible news!

SEK said...

What's with the past tense, eh? Went crazy? I'm sorry my dear, but it's your past tense-talk that's the stuff of crazy.

azoresdog said...

Hi Sis. Last paragraph - is "to farce" a verb?

I was rather partial to:
An organ pales outside the simplistic glue.

Keep pushing.

gwoertendyke said...

but no, you're almost done, oh right, that is precisely when you go most mad!!

heu mihi said...

"Job market pushes Sisyphus around the involved corridor."

This really IS what it feels like, isn't it? I've been shoved around that involved corridor more times than I like to mention.

Sisyphus said...

I'm partial to "why won't the unconscious riot past Sisyphus?" myself. That seems to be the root of my problems these days.

D: look further and you'll see that "The enough cruise addicts job market across the surplus," so really, it's a Tom Cruise, not Keanu Reeves, reference. Not that that is much of an improvement though, I gotta say.

Yes Scott, you went crazy and now you're here. There's no continuing to that journey, no leaving or recovering. You are solidly in the crazy. I stand by my words.

Sue Who is back! Evidently, to farce _is_ a verb. I can see someone farcing a job interview. Why yes I can.

Heu Mihi, I think of the job market as being more internal: "Job market spins throughout Sisyphus" --- a kind of viral infection type thing.