I'm supposed to be heading out to a graduation party right now (I'd be arriving right between on time and fashionably late) and I don't want to go. I mean, I did want to go, earlier when I was invited, but now I'm all bleh and grumply and "don't make me quit what I was doing," which mainly involved procrastinating on the diss and being bored. (Inertia --- it's a lovely thing. I'm always happy being in my rut --- happy, because then I have something easy and familiar to hate and complain about.)
Thing is, it's hosted by someone I barely know, who is very nice, and when this person heard I too am graduating, invited me along. I don't think I will know anybody there, which is always nerve-wracking for me and makes it more of a social ordeal than a fun event. Plus, when I looked back at the email for time and directions, I noticed the person I'm TAing for is invited. I don't really get along with her, remember? And because I'm conflict-averse and all passive-aggressive and bitchy, I'm not sure how well she knows this.
So the more I think about it, the less thrilled I am about going ---- I'd be thrown together with the one person I know, who I'm still mad at for setting up class the way it is, and would need to make small talk with strangers otherwise. Bleah. On the other hand, I'm always beating myself up for not getting out more or making an effort to go socialize with people ---- you can't complain nobody invites you to anything or hangs out with you if you always hide in your room and refuse to go to parties, Cog ---- and it's pretty punk-ass to not even make the effort. Maybe I'll swing through and claim I've got another event to hit.
Gah --- am I the lamest person in the world or what?
Don't answer that.
So now I'm wondering if you went to the party. You are graduating, you know. You're allowed to be happy.
What? You can't complain that nobody invites you to anything or hangs out with you if you hide in your room and refuse to go to parties? Are you sure? I've been doing that forever! What will I do now?
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