Wednesday, August 6, 2008

And On the Seventh Day Cog Rested

In the beginning of the day Cog created an idea.

And the idea was without form, and void, and full of darkness, and was highly unclear.

And Cog said: let there be a paragraph, and after much travail, a paragraph was there.

And Cog saw the paragraph, and said it was good. Except for a little spot that was unorganized, so Cog divided the idea into two paragraphs, the first separate from the second. And it was good.

And the evening and the morning were wasted on Facebook on the first day.

And on the second day Cog said, Let there be a lit review, and some quotes, and a nice little transition over here that connects up to the other ideas. And it was good. And Cog began to fear that all of these undertakings would impinge on valuable napping time. But it was good.

And Cog said, let the notebooks bring forth abundantly words of every kind, the winged words and the creeping, the words of the air and words of the sea, the words that walk on two legs and the words that walk on four legs and the words that slither upon their bellies on the ground (we'll deal with the words with cloven hoofs in a moment).

And words great and small appeared and were fruitful and multiplied all over the footnotes. And Cog saw that it was good.

And so passed the evening and morning of the second day, give or take a couple weeks.

And lo! One such day Cog returned to look upon the words, having been about some Other Business, and she witnessed much wickedness and all manner of riotousness and confusion of every kind amongst the words, and this grieved her in her heart.

And the Cog said, I will destroy these my words which I have created, the great ones and the small, the creeping words and the words that fly in the air. I will wipe them from the face of my notebook and the cache of my googledocs, for it repenteth me that I have made them, and I am in quite the smitey mood today, do not push it.

And lo! There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

But the Cog said, be not afraid, for I shall create newer and better words, and where the words roamed in the tenfold, I shall make them roam by the hundredfold. And I shall make a covenant to always back up these words and to never again wipe all the words from the face of the earth, and thus henceforth you will all be saved.

And there was great rejoicing, and the Cog set forth in search of a snack.

And lo! it was good.

(His riff is better. If you can't see it all there, try here, without any illustrations.)


Musey_Me said...

I am also laughing.

Hilaire said...

You are brilliant!!

Dr. Virago said...

When I was a kid passing notes in class with my friend Maria, if we thought something the other wrote was so funny it might make milk come out your nose if you were drinking it, we would write the following, which I now also write in praise of your funniness:

Hahaheeheehahahaheeheehee...snort! snort! choke! spew! gasp!

Belle said...

Hahaheeheehahahaheeheehee...snort! snort! choke! spew! gasp! giggle!

Anonymous said...


Brilliant, truly brilliant. I don't know if I'll ever see the cloven hoofs of my bad writing quite the same.

Dr. Curmudgeon said...

This makes my day!

Bardiac said...

Mine too :)

kfluff said...

Where's the part where you take a letter from your best and favorite word and make it a mate? :)