How to have a crappy day

You know your day will be unsalvageable if, in the morning, you

- break your phone through the rash and dangerous act of turning it on,

- discover that you only have half a bowl's worth of milk after you pour it on a full bowl of cereal,

- finally decide that the last of the milk had "turned" anyway after you choked down almost all of it,

- find that your "loose, comfy pants" don't close,

- are assailed by masses of incompetent, infuriating drivers (ahhh, you know if I could liveblog while driving this would be an all- bad driver rants blog, all the time. Consider yourselves lucky!),

- visit two phone stores and have to go in to work to sneak phone access because, hey, you only have the one phone!

- endure long stretches of call-holding Muzak and even longer stretches of kindly but confused customer service people who need to enter your address 27 different times,

- dither and worry over the crafting of half an important (think job-search related) email and then send it,

- spend a long time painstakingly crafting the second half of the important email,

- realize the incompatibility of the previous two steps,

- are unable to tell whether you are having indigestion or hunger pangs,

- go by school to check your box and your advisor's box and find nothing. Fret over whether your job letter revising made the whole thing so bad that it is now a steaming pile of crap and your advisor is too sad and disappointed to even acknowledge its existence,

- are informed that it costs you 13 bucks to order an official transcript and have it mailed to your house within a two-week time frame, but it's another 10 bucks for them to hold it and you pick it up from school yourself,

- return home to find you had accidentally shut the bathroom door on your cat while he was exploring the bathtub and has been in there all day. Feel guilty from his reproachful glances,

- know that the impending deadline on a writing project is making you anxious and worried and upset and yet you can't make yourself actually look at or think about the thing, which just makes you feel even worse,

- write the day off as just better forgotten and yet you did not take advantage of the situation and take a nap.