Thursday, January 1, 2009

The only time I will appreciate UC bureaucracy

Well, all of that socializing and running around actually talking to people must have used up my last reserves of human decency and non-grouchiness, because I am back at my place. I left bright and early this morning even though my entire extended family had come over to celebrate new year's eve and were all planning on spending the day together, and despite the fact that I think I made my mom cry by packing and leaving first thing in the morning.

But I was weirdly antsy and anxious and am simultaneously freaked out about my teaching and completely bored --- nay, sick --- of everything at my parents' house. They drive me nuts. And I can't work there. I especially can't fix the problems with my book orders and readers while there if it involves copying alternative stuff. So I feel bad that I spent a total of 6 minutes with my sister in law all break and hardly spent any time with my nieces and nephews and was grumpy and short with them besides. You know, being around my family brings out all sorts of money anxiety and depression about my fucked-up stalled nonexistent career. And I realize that I have all these memories of being very close with my nieces and nephews and them being very cute and small, but actually they have grown up and I have been bitchy and distant from them for about 3 or 4 years now because I am usually at my most stressed and overwhelmed when I see them and my parents' place gets on my last nerve.

But! I have been distracted from the point of my post! I was feeling like crap, trying to clean my apartment and plan everything for next quarter and actually deal with my finances, which are beyond bleak at the start of this new year. I have been putting off dealing with getting my student loan stuff together and setting up automatic debit and whatnot ---- in fact, I have been avoiding many things because I just can't deal with figuring out the loan payments, or even looking at the actual final number I borrowed. But tonight I finally logged in to the website, only to discover that my university didn't bother to notify anyone I was no longer at half-time status until almost November! Whee! I was supposed to be done and counting down my grace period back in September for a Jan. start date, but the website claims I won't have to start paying things back until May! This is wonderful ---- I just need to haul ass on the second leg of the job season and maybe I'll even have something lined up by the time I have to start paying it back. That way I'll be able to make payments (or at least look at the payment numbers) without feeling like I am having an anxiety attack.

Ooh, and I need to consolidate the loan at a lower rate because there are actually some low rates! Yay! Go Feds with your cutting of interest rates! I'll set that up, along with an automatic debit thingy, tomorrow, as soon as I switch banks. (Fucking bank with your aggregated $26 a month worth of fees! I saw you raising things right and left in my last statement! What are you feeding those Pony Express Ponies, anyway, gold? Fuck off! In celebration of the new year I'm hunting down a free checking account even if it is such a pain in the ass to switch over.)

I wish everyone reading this a similar reprieve through the accidents of bureaucracy. May your 2009 be shiny and bright!

1 comment:

Bardiac said...

Hah, I used to bank at that same bank, I bet!

Then I moved and banked at a bank with a surprisingly good reputation, which then bought up the other bank, and changed its name to the other bank. And now they own me, lock, stock, and mortgage. But they treat me better here, it seems, and when you have a mortgage, they're less snotty about other fees.

It's probably cold comfort in this horrible world, but even climbing a little out of debt is better than sinking further in. At least that's what it felt like to me when I graduated and was adjuncting.