Monday, May 18, 2009

Dammit! I mean, uh, congratulations!

Arrgh! The best laid plans of mice and men slip betwixt cup and lip, and all that.

So, I have relatives. Yes, I know; I'm sorry too. And not only do I have relatives, but I have not one, but two of them graduating in the near future ---- unfortunately not in the same place and not on the same weekend/consecutive days. I'd have to cancel at least one class and make a big arc across California to deal with these on a single trip, so I'm going to make two separate weekend trips in the near future.

This is putting a kink in my fabulous multicolored publishing schedule (Joseph's Amazing Technicolor DreamSchedule? hmm.) since I didn't plan to spend 5 hours of driving here and 8 hours of driving there and doing a lot of sitting around being official and all that. Humph. Maybe I should bring my regalia and try to sneak into officiating at the ceremonies? It would at least keep me entertained. Hmm, I like the sound of that.

To make matters worse, I do not love all my nieces and nephews equally. I have been specifically requested to come to the juries/recital of one niece, who I want to make happy and show I am proud of her, so I will go up to those which will allow me to not go to her graduation and make it to those of my friends here who are walking. My other niece technically does not know whether she is eligible to graduate yet (who fails high school, I ask you?) but I really want to make a point of driving down and attending because I've been trying to give positive reinforcement to academic success and all that and quietly ignore (it's called extinguishing behavior) any of her silliness events or parties or socializing that she values so much more than studying. Not that this has had any effect on her so far, but I don't know what else I could do. It also means not being around when she is doing the various activites that she has been working on instead of school --- like the senior ball fundraisers and Promenade and her senior skit night or the play she is in --- and making it come across like I am doing something equal and fair and equivalent and all that. We'll see how it goes.

If I hadn't gotten in papers and assigned a novel for next week and still have to clean up the shit that hit the fan with my messups from that time I subbed for someone else, I would say I could tie the article up and have it all edited and proofed and ready to go before leaving this weekend, but in reality that seems unlikely. And I'm all excited to use my fancy bath thingy! And have decided on something even better for my next reward so I'm raring to go on that! Arg!

And furthermore, while I am complaining, I am very annoyed at my cats. On Saturday, when I went for groceries, I was tempted into getting a big thing of strawberries. Yum! I rinsed them off and left them in the colander to air dry.

The next thing I notice is that I hear this very strange, very quiet "plomp, plomp" sound and the cats are nowhere to be seen. When I go in the kitchen, I find that they are pulling out the strawberries with their teeth (and batting them out with their paws too) and scattering them all over the not-yet-cleaned floor. (I swear, I finally got to it Sunday --- but not before the cats dirtied the strawberries.)

My only guess is that they did this because the strawberries are about the size of mice --- for, despite not tasting, looking, smelling, or being furred like mice, not to mention being completely immobile and not making even the slightest of enticing crackling sounds --- my cats felt the need to be absolutely sure that these innocent strawberries were not in fact prey who were deviously hiding from them by being out in the open. Cats --- gah! And did they help clean the kitchen floor? No, they did not!


Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Your cats and my cats ought to hang out together -- they have similar interests. Anything small enough to be batted around is a target. The pens in a cup on my desk = chew toys. I really hope the younger one grows up just a little -- when he goes on a tear, things break.

Belle said...

Ahem. Being thoroughly trained by my cats, I am driven to defend yours.

1) You left them out.
2) They roll; it is cats' duty to play with interesting things. Therefore, since 1) is true, you knew that 2) so you asked for it.
3) It is not the responsibility of felines to clean anything but themselves. That is why they have staff (you). Staff are to clean up, clean the cat box, open cans, provide entertainment and occasionally nap-space, pay the rent etc.. In return, you are permitted the joys of having such wonderful creatures in your life.
4) Before you complain about cat hair, remember: it is multi-functional and valuable in that it is both a fashion accessory and a condiment. Count yourself lucky.

Amelia's loyal servant

Anonymous said...

1. It's impressive that you're even willing to make the trip(s). Nice of you!

2. "Plomp" is the perfect sound effect, though I'm sorry you lost your strawberries.

Dame Eleanor Hull said...

Well, I approve of your reasoning on attending the nieces' occasions. To add fuel to that fire, keep in mind that if you don't reproduce, it may be your nieces who look after you when you're old. Do as much work as you can in the time remaining, and go. Tell them you're proud of them. I think it is important to many young people to get the support of people who are not their parents (whether or not the parents are supportive).

canuck_grad said...

Did the strawberries still have the leaves in them? My little cat who is afraid of her own shadow and rarely plays with toys, or anything else really, loves to pick up strawberries with her teeth using the leaves - then she takes them off somewhere else and drops them there. The only other things she plays with frequently are headphones and earplugs.

k8 said...

ooh - don't let your cats give my cats any ideas!

Phul Devi said...

You know, Sis, you're being awfully ungrateful. Those strawberries clearly were plotting something -- all clumped together in a big group like that. They might well have throttled you while you slept. And when your cats save you from the perils of Evil Fruit, what do you do? Complain, complain, complain!

undine said...

Cat soccer with strawberries--now there's a sport that you have to film and upload to YouTube.