I'm participating in Dame Eleanor Hull's writing group as a way to continue to make forward progress on my book manuscript, however slow and pitiful. I have hope, although, being a master procrastinator, I have already started re-reading chapter 3 instead of finishing up those final bits of chapter 1. This might come back and bite me in the butt, though I am telling myself that having enthusiasm and willingness to do any revision is so important I have to work with whatever I can.
This chapter has an argument. (Which is good, and better than I can say for chapter 1.) In fact, it has an argument, plus, an only-partially explicit sub-argument, or implications of the main argument, which may in fact be more interesting than the argument itself. So I want to flesh out those ideas and bring them out in relief more. The down side is that it has lumpy, awkward, long, drunkenly-careening sentences everywhere. I mean at every level of every page. I re-read my marginal comments from the last time I re-read the entire diss at one go (you can find it in my archives --- I think it was 2009?) and they are pointing out "long" "wordy" "what?" "awk" everywhere. I think I can keep the structure, but every single sentence needs polishing up and beautifying. Dame Eleanor Hull referred to it as a Spa Day and wondered if I was getting a manicure or a facial? Ha! I love it! Particularly because it is thematically relevant. Poor chapter. You can't beautify the pharmakon. Poor thing.
I was thinking that the chapter needs that facial thingy where they do dermabrasion, except, really, we're talking about sandblasting, if not an actual face-lift. But what's that? I was humming something... fa la la...
Yup, that is exactly the makeover I was looking for! Too bad I can't find the whole song/scene for you on the internet. Have a different clip instead:
And now I'm off to see what Voltron, Defender of the Universe will look like with long sausage curls...
Ha! Spa day or sandblasting in the merry old land of Oz: either way it's progress.
I, too, have a bad habit of writing wordy, over-convoluted sentences. I think mine could use something more radical than dermabraison - maybe lipo. Progress is progress, though, right?
Progress???? Not yet it isn't!
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