To be sung to the tune of a major Broadway musical

I feel crappy
So unhappy
Like I'm banging my head on the wallllllllll!
Students nap-y
And they aren't doing their reading at all.

I feel shitty
Full of pity
My job prospects are practically nilllllllll!
And so shitty
For a job I just might have to kill

See that disgruntled cog in that mirror there!
(what mirror where?)
Who can that disaffected girl be?
(she's got no sense of rhythm, yo)
She's still gotta grade,
She's still gotta write,
She's still gotta update
Her CV!
(her CV her CV)

I feel lousy
grump and grous-y
Feel like hiding at home in my bed!
For I've been teaching*
until I feel half dead!

*that line should read teaching/grading/trying to get my advisor to update my letter/prep for job market/scramble to put my chapter together/ freak out about job market/ have unbecoming hate-filled waves of envy towards friends who are more market prepared or closer to done than me, but it didn't scan.